More ttp

Sorry, I need more about this song, its just that good.

if fate holds a purpose
you feel fate will lend a hand
it saves face deserts you
it deals grace from underhand
and every time the past's awakened
every time your soul starts breaking

you can't stand the distance
you can't stand to not be afraid
you won't show resistance
you can't seem to run away
because every time the past's awakened
every time your soul starts breaking

in the face of the fire
you see angels conspire
will they hear you desires
will they stop your soulbreaking
could they stop your soulbreaking

you won't say you're hurting
you still dream in the undertow
just a safe place a haven
just a kind face just to overthrow
every time the past's awakened
every time your soul starts breaking

in the face of the fire
you see angels conspire
will they hear your desires
will the stop your soulbreaking
could they stop your soulbreaking
will they stop your soulbreaking
could they stop your soulbreaking
please love

every time the past's awakened
every time my soul starts breaking

Music that moves

I've always liked music, ever since I was a little girl standing up in church at the age of about 4 screaming "Turn me loose!" at the top of my lungs, music has always made me happy. I never really played (playing skip to the lou and other daggy songs with the even daggier primary school principal on guitar and belting out some god knows what tune on a tenahorn also primary school = uninspiring and so not cool).

Of course as a teenager, music played a big role in my life from teenybopper boy bands (woot, new kids!) through to tunes that got me over many a broken heart, and the obligatory angry tunes... there is always something to fit what you feel right? Music is wonderful that way.

It wasn't really until I was an adult though, that I found music that actually moved me. The really sort of connected with my soul. This was not just music I liked or enjoyed or thought was clever etc. This was something I had not ever experienced, nor truly believed existed! I guess that kind of thing would be individual. One womans moving music is anothers grating screech perhaps.

When I discovered the tea party, I discovered music that blew me away. A few of theirs in particular, stir emotions deep inside every single time I hear them. Psychopomp has this sad undertone of desperation and pain to me; Save Me is like an intense yearning, and Soulbreaking just clicks into something inside me that nothing else has ever discovered. And that is just a start, there are many more.

Was I devastated when they split up? Sure, I think I all but cried! But theres still all those albums that exist already, that have so much more left to explore on them, even after hundreds of listens. I think I was more pissed off. Jeff Martin, heretofore a bit of a hero of mine, fell from grace in a bad way, and I don't think I have ever quite forgiven him. I am sure his heart bleeds. I've not really listened to his solo stuff, even though I have it. I just think now... hes a bit of a jerk really. And that influences how the music feels to me - even the ttp stuff if I let it.

I am positively champing at the bit though, to hear what The Art Decay has to offer. Yeah Jeff could write and had that mystic thing going, his voice was soulful - but so much of what the ttp is and was to me, is in the work of Jeff and Stuart. I cannot wait to see what the two conjure up between them now.

Oh so tired

I am exhausted. Emotionally drained! I have had a sick little boy for almost a week now, and we are all so over it. Nothing worse than him in tears because he is sick of being sick, poor love. Has missed 3 days of school now too and its the last week of term so thats shitful also. Admittedly at times like this I want to yank him out just to keep him well so the holidays are good timing in that sense.

Uni is going okay, I have 4 assignments left for the year (and grad dip will be mine!!!) - I have one in very early stages of info collecting, two half finished and one not even thought about. So not too bad really. Its just reviewing I have to think about now. Only received one mark back, so its a tense time not knowing how I am doing. It won't match last semesters marks, too much more is going on.

I am less motivated after only a 3 week or so break, as opposed to 3 months at years end, I had that tonislitis that knocked me out and have had Finn sick as well. Plus a bunch of other stuff to think about and so on, its just been hectic. No matter, so long as I pass. And I need at least a credit for Fiction to be able to do research to finish off a masters next year.

What else? Not a great deal. Just plodding along :)

Funny, and so clever

I decided to get Finn back and ask HIM hard questions and asked why am I his mama:

F: Because you do things properly.
M: What things?
F: umm. You wash my clothes and other peoples clothes.
M: What else?
F: Iron them.
M: Yeah?
F: Buy Dadda a hat.
M: what else?
F: Eat tea with me and dadda. Thats why you're my mama.

LOL. How cute! So thats it. Thats all being Finns Mama is! I said to him: Who looks after you when you're sick? Who cuddles you when you're sad? Who reads books to you and gets your food? Who loves you?!?

He said: You, you, you, you.



Spoke to one of Finn's teachers today when I collected him from school, and she said that he is doing so well - they have the learning to read words in sets and he has pretty much mastered the first set.

She said that as of next term, they will start him on readers!!!!! She said "he is probably ready now, but we'll spend the next 2 weeks setting the foundations a little more then next term move forward." I am so excited and proud of him! He is just barely 4 for goodness sake! Apparently, some of the third year cycle 1's say "he is only a first year, how come he gets to do that!?" And she says to them "well, because he is ready to, isn;t he?!"

I am so proud of my clever little boy!

Oh my!

So slack!!! Where oh where have I been? Not even anywhere interesting. Just here! Had tonsilitis which was a bastard, then spent ages catching up on house and uni stuff. Doing so-so with uni this semester, certainly not as well as last which is a shame, but life has been busier. Such is life!

My new nephew was born on Fathers Day, he is a tiny little thing, very sweet of course! Finn thought he was great and wanted to take him home. Was kinda hard explaining he wasn't ours to take home and why we didn't have a baby. Hard being the understatement to end all understatements. Hellish. But we're moving on from it all ok.

Friday night we went to the small mans first ever school concert. God, how cute was it!?!? Just gorgeous. I beamed from ear to ear the entire time, so proud!! Just a really cool experience. He was shy and nervous at first, grinning and cheekily waving at us, was into it by the end though, bless! Took some pics but none were great, took video also. Here is a pic though -

Today he and I went and spent a sunny afternoon in Lygon Street eating cake and icecream and catching up with Lalee girl. Was so good to see her, and Finn thought she was "mui loco", rofl. Well.. she is! :P Its why I love her!

Not much else, some... cool decisions and stuff afoot but not getting into it yet. All in good time. So.. anyone want to write a life writing thing for me because I am dreading it. Not real good at that, it is my big worry - for this week anyway.