Follow Up

Further to the other day, I wanted to share this video with you -




It breaks my heart. What are we as parents doing wrong to have this all go so wrong of late? Why are we perpetuating these judgmental and cruel perspectives? Why are we not teaching our children that different is okay - regardless of its form? People are going through so much pain. Bullying is awful in any form, be it because a kid is gay, different looking, or smart, or fat, or whatever it might be.

Isn't it difference that makes us each special and unique?? Is it not difference that makes us who we are, that special someone to someone else? Sometimes it is the very things I can't stand about myself, that another may love. I just wish we could love our children, and raise them to love one another. To accept one another. I feel this is a revolution of change right now, and I truly hope that momentum continues to build and society keeps being forced to pay attention, to make changes, and to open their minds.

AWOL

Apologies for my extended absence. Life has been exceptionally busy of late! I went to my beloved America, and I loved her. It was an amazing trip in so many ways, so very life changing. It certainly has given me a travel bug and itchy feet (which both sound

like I need a cream or something, but are Very Good Things!)

It was good to come home, but it was difficult. I would love to return. Some day...

Things have been difficult since the separation with J. It's hard in a lot of ways, but i still believe it was the right thing to do.

Right now, I want to focus on me, and filling my life with things that I love. Things that make me happy. I am investigating a bunch of things... I set my desk up again, and am getting back into the writing daily habit. I am investigating Italian classes - or dra

gging out my books and teaching myself again. I am investigating cooking classes, book clubs, theatre groups... Trying to find something that will enrich my life, that is realistically within reach (literally, close enough to home) and affordable, and that is the right timing (missed term 2 start). I'll keep looking.

It's time for me.

All images from http://weheartit.com/

A crisis of (self) confidence

Maybe its a post-birth thing, maybe it is partly the result of stress, but maybe its a much bigger thing too. Actually, if I am honest with myself, it has been worsening for a long time now, this whole self esteem thing.

I think that most people have issues with their self esteem to some degree, internally or externally, and the more I think about it, the sadder I think it is. Why do we depend so heavily on external validation??? Why is it never enough for us to say "well, I think I'm okay!" Why do we care so much? I know that we have the image of perfection slammed at us from so many angles in popular culture etc.. but even so, most of us know that that kind of true perfection is unattainable for most of us, so why do we beat ourselves up over it?

Likewise the way we often take someone elses confidence or intelligence, choices or thoughts as criticisms of ourselves and our decisions, simply because they are different. It doesn't mean we are wrong, just different! And that is actually a good thing! Healthy debate, confidence in your own beliefs and choices is a great thing.

At the same time, I think its important to better ourselves. Acknowledge our weaknesses and commit to changing that which we don't like. If we are unhappy, try to fix it - but the key is to feel that is enough, trying is the important bit, surely. To feel that change is coming, I think that has to help? I recently decided for myself, to 'fake it until i make it' - so okay, I am not happy with myself right now, but I am working on that, and until I am happy, pretend that I am the me I see, the me I want, and feel the confidence that would come with that, even if I am not there yet. Because the more confident I feel, the happier I will be and it will become true confidence. Not fake. If I feel it, I will exude it, which will make it genuine. Does this make sense?!

Being comfortable in our own skin, or in our own minds, is not an easy thing. Its challenging, and at times it is confronting. We all have days we hate the mirror, we all have days we wish we could behave differently, but maybe our faults are the key to our true selves too. Maybe they are what make us us, and maybe its okay to accept them too. To a degree. Hmm.

I hate this kinda self-help style crap, but honestly, there has to be a way to change this stuff without the corn! I just haven't found it yet (except to say I love my sarcastic bitchiness so no esteem issues there :P )

What are your insights? Have you worked on self esteem issues? Have you learned to love you for you? How did you do so?