25 weeks, 3 days

Daily movements since the scan have continued and are so very reassuring. Its really only been since that scan that I have believed I am pregnant, so to be 2.5 weeks off trimester 3 and only just feeling its begun is a bit of a bonus. I am sure it will vary over time though.

We bought a new car to upsize for babes arrival, a beautiful 2008 VR Limited Edition Outlander in white – has extras like mags, dvd player, extra airbags and seats etc. Its divine to drive, has an mp3 cd player so that’s a bonus also! Love driving it, the stereo system is awesome. Really thrilled with it! Also had my furniture delivered last week finally, so the nursery looks like a nursery. Once we put it together, the next day I filled it with all baby's clothes and then sat on the floor and looked around in awe and just sobbed that we had almost made it when I was so sure I would never experience that again. Was amazing and powerful and healing.

Have also seen that my U.S. nursery stuff has been shipped and left the U.S. so it ought to arrive this week which will be very exciting! My baby shower is this weekend so it will all look great just in time. My first baby shower that is, with the girls, I am having a family get together in a few weeks time. Neither is a real baby shower, shower, more just celebrations that we finally made it, with the people I love and who have helped me and supported us in getting here.

We have decided pretty definitely on baby’s middle name, aside from liking it as a name in and of itself, it is my Mum's middle name. I feel keen to honor mum as well. Without her help, we’d not have been able to even DO ivf, plus shes one of my best friends, and I talk to her about everything, and that means a lot to me. So it will be nice to do that as well as liking the name! I’d go with Mum’s first name, but it makes it a bit long, and too many similar sounds.

Little girl herself has been so active, except when I get Josh or Finn to try and feel then she goes quiet until they move. It is driving me INSANE! Josh felt a fair few last night which was good, but Finns yet to feel anything :(

Finn turned 5 and we had his party and so on, which went really well. He loved the trampoline and his dinosaur party, was pretty cool really. I cant believe he is 5 though! He really cant wait for the baby to be born, the morning after Josh and I had put together the cot etc, we told him to come and see and he was impressed but a few minutes later came to me in tears because he had thought we were going to show him the baby was in there. Bless. He was saying “do I REALLY have to wait until December?!” So cute. I have explained that when the baby is coming it takes a while to get it out so Mama and Dada will go to hospital and he will stay at a friends and then here with Nanny when she gets here, and Nanny will brig him in when the baby is born etc and he seems okay with all that (lucky!)

Went to another appointment at the hospital with a midwife when I was 21 weeks and it was awful! Midwife told me off because I didn’t bring results from bloods and scans myself and she had to chase them – not my fault their filing system is failing ffs!!! And then spent AGES trying to find the heartbeat and hurting me in the process for a good long time. Refused to even ASK about my GP’s request for shared care – yet I can see a midwife that’s got less idea?! Stupid!!! I grit my teeth and even though they want me back in a weeks time at 26w, I thought no way. I’ll go when it suits me, as little as I can get away with.

I saw my GP last week and filled her in, she was not impressed either, and was fine with me dong it my way. We decided I would go back there at 28w+ after my next basic GCT (not the long GTT again) and bloods to check iron etc that she is running. So thank god for her, shes on top of everything, is nice, is smart and I feel confident she knows her stuff. She finds the heartbeat in seconds too! :P I see her again in 2 weeks, not sure why so soon, but nevermind. I have the bloods and GCT in 3 weeks, and then a growth scan at 32/33 weeks ish.

I am feeling well physically, I measure ahead compared to Finn but have gained less weight and feel better physically aside from some minor indigestion and feeling permanently freezing cold with purple fingernails! Emotionally I have been a shambles the past 2 weeks or more and as a result have had colds and temperatures a bit. Just teary and sad like grief without knowing why. Strangely, when I read Finns pregnancy diary I was feeling the same then. I think its being lonely and bored and hormones making it all more pronounced. I’ll get by eventually…