The worst nightmare I have ever had..

Last night I had a dream that today, I can't shake off. It was the worst dream I have had in my life, and believe me, I have had some doozies.
For some obscure reason, my son, who is 4, was convicted and sentenced to death because he had accidentally shot someone somehow. Insane I know, but it was a dream!
So I had to watch him be injected, and feel the panic, knowing he was about to die, and I couldn't reverse it. The panic and terror is indescribable. They told me he would start vomiting soon and then would die. I was holding him, screaming, looking for antidote, hoping vomiting would mean he would vomit the poison out. I feel sick just typing this and I am already crying.
I then said I had to leave the room, that I couldn't watch him actually die. But then I came back, and they removed the plastic hood from his head, and his face and lips, were all covered in sweat, from being in the plastic hood. And he was still, not quite dead.

Oh my god. i think I am going to go and throw up.

1 comments:

Kirsten, once was Kay 2 December 2007 at 2:41 pm  

OMG Kel that is awful. I would be throwing up too. That feeling of it being too late, unable to stop something is a horrible one, and I get it quite a lot in dreams, but never in such an indescribably awful situation. I have dreamed about Liam dying or at least almost dying though - I dreamed about someone trying to murder him once - and it is the worst feeling.
Commiserations.