I am pregnant

Yes indeedy I am. Up the duff, well and truly. IVF #3 was a success, though it really did not appear that would happen. I had no faith in the cycle working at all. The details are all over at My Face Tube, but in summary: Took ages to get the follicles growing, looked for a while as though the cycle may again be cancelled which was scary. Managed to get to egg retrieval, and many follicles joined the race at the end and 20 eggs were retrieved. I woke from anaesthetic feeling really crappy. They made me stay a lot longer than usual for observation but I conned them into letting me go eventually. I was bedridden for the better part of a week, aside from faking my way through transfer 2 days past the pick up. Transfer was devastating. I found out that from 20 eggs, we only had TWO embryos. They leaned heavily on me to only transfer one or nil, when I had felt I needed two in to have a real chance. The danger was that my hyperstimulation could become life endangering to me or babies should both embryos implant, because I felt so damn sore and sick I decided to go with head over heart and just had one embryo transferred, the other frozen for later use. I cried through transfer with disappointment. The retrieval had been so painful and to only have 2 and face the possibility of another stim cycle so soon was awful. A week later I was able to move around as normal, and was enduring the wait to find out if it had worked or not, but was assuming not.

At 10 days past retrieval, I caved and did a test mid morning. To my shock a second line appeared immediately, though faint (as it ought to be that early!) I was shaking, showing Josh, and he too could see it. Many more tests later and the same result. The next few days were surreal. blood tests confirmed we were pregnant, very much so. At 6 weks (4 weeks after I first found out), we had a scan and saw a tiny blob with a flickering heart beat. How on earth did this happen?! This doesn't happen to us, we fail here! My Doctor was stoked for us, which was lovely, and the next 6 weeks were awful. I was scared the whole time, full of fear, waiting for it to all go wrong. It didn't.

At 12 weeks, we had another scan, and there was our baby, legs kicking, arms waving, healthy and perfectly formed. 2 weeks later and I am just over 14 weeks pregnant, and to be honest, it still doesn't feel real. I am still finding to hard to connect. Four years of training myself to expect failure and negatives where conception is concerned is hard to change. It is really hard to adjust to the idea of potential success. I still have vague morning sickness, though improved from the horror it was at 7 weeks or so! Got a bump that feels like lying on a ball when I lay on my tummy. So far, it has all mimicked Finns pregnancy closely.

The downside is not being in Warrnambool anymore, where it was all straight forward and simple and great. Here, the care has been crap. I am booked in at the royal womens in the city, and I hate it. I wish I had gotten a private obstetrician but I am so clueless about things here being new to the area still - and having never expected to fall pregnant I never wanted to research it and tempt fate. Going to fight to do shared care with a GP here though if I can get my glucose test to go well...

So thats the update. Apologies in advance if this blog becomes the baby show a bit. Will try to still have some semblance of a normal life... but I never did before so why now!? Anyhoo... Till next time. :)