"I get by with a little help from my friends."

I've always said, I am not that good of a friend. I am often withdrawn and stand offish and I tend to keep to myself a lot. I'm not the kind of friend that you can just drop in on, or that drops in on others. Sometimes, I think I am sort of selfish. My friends (amazingly, I do have them!) would probably say it isn't true, but to an extent it is.

I guess as a result, the friends that I do have, are the truest of friends. Because they understand my strange little ways, and they love me anyway. They get that I often ebb and flow, and it never affects the friendship. The know that if they need me, I will be there in a heartbeat. And vice versa.

I'm currently in a social phase, and I guess I have a lot going on in my head, and in my heart. I don't usually share that stuff, I'm intensely private, but the relief I have felt at being able to share some of the big stuff with friends lately, has been enormous. That adage of a problem shared is a problem halved is kinda true. Letting someone in enough to show them true emotion and to share your fears etc with is a powerful thing. Not feeling alone with something is powerful. So why do I find it difficult to do a lot of the time?! Do others feel like this, or do you have people you can tell everything to? Good, bad, ugly, all of it? Is it difficult for you to do so, or is it a regular catharsis for most?

This coming Saturday, my best friend and I are getting away from it all for a night. A girls night. One that we probably both need for a lot of reasons. I am looking forward to a night of chatter, giggles and relaxing. Shes one of many friends I am very lucky to have, and grateful to have. Again, I don't say enough to these friends that they are important in my life. From all around the globe, my friends, I love you.

"At the shrine of friendship Never say die, Let the wine of friendship never run dry." (Les Miserables).


April 5 October 2009 at 10:30 am  

Awww honey, you had me with tears welling up in my eyes. I am quite similar, that I am not the kind of person who will 'just drop in' on friends, and I often feel strange because I dont. I prefer my friends to set a time that they will be visiting, so I can prepare for it.

I love that you have gone through a more social phase, and that you have let me in. You are a beautiful person, and whether you realise it or not, you are admired by myself A LOT