Fear

Awake since 4am. Can't sleep. Got a text from a friend last night mentioning she may be looking at breast cancer.

And here we go again.

I'm hopeful it is not. It's not a definitive dx yet. But it's dredged more crap up.

How do you ever shake the fear of it returning? Every 3m mum sees the oncologist. She just had her first post cancer mammogram (clear!!) and she sees the surgeon again soon as well. They keep very close watch, for this I'm grateful.

But sometimes, like when I wake at 4am, I'm gripped by this incapacitating fear. It's overwhelming. It won't return. Right?

5 comments:

Angela 14 January 2010 at 8:13 am  

Dealing with the same fear. My aunt died 6m ago from breast cancer. My dad goes for another check to make sure it's not returned in a week or two. So much fear. I wonder if it will ever go away?

Rhi 14 January 2010 at 8:48 am  

I understand. My mum is in remission from breast cancer. The fear never goes away.

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Kellee 31 January 2010 at 4:31 am  

*hugs*

Positive thoughts and good energy, for as new agey and flakey as that sounds, will help more than anything. I'm sorry you have to worry about all of this.