When I decided I wanted a new blog, it was mostly because the name of my current blog mentioned infertility, and that is not where I am anymore. I decided on the address fiestykel as thats a username I use often, and because the blog title was not available as a URL. The title 'Natsukashii' is something that goes way back for me.
I first read of the word in about 99, 00 in a book called 'Expecting Adam' but Martha Beck. It described a feeling that I often have, all the time really. There is no word for it in english language, but it means as the title says. After titling it, I decided pictures of cherry blossoms would look beautiful with it, and given they are also Japanese, were appropriate. Plus, cherry blossoms are coincidentally, my favourite flower!
I decided out of curiosity to look up the meaning of the cherry blossom and I discovered this:
Japanese samurai used to contemplate death. This was not some morbid fixation. Admitting their own mortality forced the warriors to accept that life is a precious and fleeting gift.
They regarded the cherry blossom as a symbol of this insight. Cherry blossoms bloom for a brief period and then fall at the very height of their beauty.
To the samurai this was a melancholy reminder of death amidst life. It was an example of great beauty and sadness.This poignant insight into life and death allowed the samurai to live their lives more fully; they realised that death could come at any moment.*
The cherry blossom is a very delicate flower that blooms for a very short time. For the Japanese this represents the transience of life. This concept ties in very deeply with the fundamental teachings of Buddhism that state all life is suffering and transitory. The Japanese have long held strong to the Buddhist belief of the transitory nature of life and it is very noble to not get too attached to a particular outcome or not become emotional because it will all pass in time.**
This is firstly appropriate because of how it fits so neatly with the word Natsukashii, but also with me and who I am. I am a person who frequently freaks out and has a bit of a panic because the full impact of my mortality hits me. It creates this thing in me where I do cherish life's beautiful moments and create lasting impressions of things that will never be again... Lately I try more and more to understand that everything is transitory, and there is not point being upset or angry or obsessed with one outcome because everything will pass, good or bad.
I have decided that I now want a tattoo of a cherry blossom and this beautiful word, natsukashii. If I can find the courage to!
* From http://www.dynamicbalancingtaichi.co.uk/Cherry%20Blossom.htm
** From http://ezinearticles.com/?Cherry-Blossom-Tattoos---What-Do-They-Mean&id=239057
Sunday, 3 June 2007