Words I like. Yes I am bored.




Pyrrhic victory.


On another note, I should be writing. I have an idea, its brewing, but I should be doing something with it. Its all well and good to use the excuse of Finn being home and it is true I can't concentrate and get into a flow, but I didn't use my singular Finn-free morning at home this week to write, I researched and I read. Which is important but I want to get the current story finished so I can start the new one. It has to be so.

When Finn is at school more, 4 mornings next year, then full-time, and I can write more frequently; I want to re-create my study. I have tried this before, you understand, and it just didn't work. The space was perfect, I still really love the study I created, but I just don't go in there and use it. I think because its sort of separate to the rest of the house and I feel really shut off. Which really is a good thing for writing, but I feel anti social or something. It just doesn't work. Perhaps it will when I have more time to spend there.

So finally, I am on break from uni, semester is finished. Thats half of my grad dip and 1/3 of my masters complete. Woot! Go me! Next semester I am studying: Texts for Young Adults (really not sure why I chose this one and having second thoughts simply because it has no creative options, its pure lit); Reviewing (am thinking freelance...); Travel Writing and Fiction B.

I am still considering a few swaps (I have made so many, can't settle on final choices). I like the idea of life writing (memoirs), and publishing might be handy also. The problem is there are more semester 2 units I want to do than there are semester 1. I really need to make my mind up very soon, and I am freaking out a bit about it.

I am doing that same what I want V's what is more practical or what would most likely lead to employment. I know that I don't need to do that, but a masters costs a lot of money. And if I never get anywhere with my writing, then wouldn't it be somewhat wasteful? Indulgent? Or should I just say screw it and take the risk. This seems to be a recurring theme. I just don't know that I have it. Or not enough of it to be successful. But there is only one way to find out and if I don't do it fully, then I will always have an excuse or a doubt. If I give it my all, 110%, then I give myself the best chance, right? I am terrified my Fiction A lecturer will see my name on the enrol list for Fic B and life writing and shake her head and think "poor deluded girl..."

Really, how lucky i am to have the opportunity to even try and give it the time, devotion and money it requires. That is a gift to be embraced, not to cautiously hesitate about. Decision made. Scrap texts for young adults, life writing it is.